Unicorns are pretty rare. If you catch one don’t feed it peanut butter. They hate it, and they’ll resent you for life. It happened to me once. To make things right, I snuck him into our office holiday party. Later, we went to a horse show. He likes horse shows. It makes him feel superior to all the other horses, even though he’s not really a horse but rather a mythological creature. Plus he likes all the attention. This Halloween we decided to go as a Kit Kat bar. Halfway through the night he started to eat his costume. I think he bit his own ass a few times, although he’d never admit it.